A Better Year Ahead?

My friend Dor, is a closet fengshui junkie. After understudying a Feng Shui master for $20K, she goes around dispensing nuggets of wisdom to select few.

Moi am one of the few who'd get fengshui advice all year round, totally FOC.

Though I normally take all these with a pinch of salt, well, sometimes it's hard not to burst out laughing or smacking Dor silly.

The Year of the Rat is a good one for the Dragons.

(1) Career-wise, it'll be of leaps and bounds of progress and recognition.

Moi: Har? Means more work?! I'm already doing a whole year's worth of my colleagues programs in just 4 months!
Dor: The bosses will give you recognition lor.
Moi: Sheeeeet... Means more work la... Got 100% increment or not?
Dor: %^&*(

(2) Romance will bloom and you'll likely get married this year.

Moi: Married? Marrying who?
Dor: Aiyah, your future hubby has appeared la... You've known him for sometime...
Moi: Are you sure? [wracking my head, trying to think of possible hubby candidates..]
Dor: Wait a minute.. [grabbing my palm and turning it one way or another]
Dor: You're two-timing him!
Moi: Who the bloody hell am I two-timing?!
Dor: Yi jiao ta liang chuan (in pin yin)!
Moi: Who are the bloody boats?
Dor: And you'll get pregnant before tying the knot.
* faint

I just want to say on record, I am a traditional Chinese girl properly raised by her conservative parents.

So getting preggers before tying the knot is strictly not my POR.


POR = company lingo for Plan of Record